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Writer's pictureKevin Barth

How to Win Friends & Influence People


Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:

  • Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

  • Give honest & sincere appreciation.

  • Arouse in the other person an eager want.


Six Ways to Make People Like You:

  • Become genuinely interested in other people.

  • Smile.

  • Remember that a person's name is the best sound in any language to that person.

  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

  • Talk in terms of other person's interests.

  • Make the other person feel important - & do it sincerely.


How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

  • Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly & emphatically.

  • Begin in a friendly way.

  • Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.

  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

  • Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

  • Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas & desires.

  • Appeal to the nobler motives.

  • Dramatize your ideas.

  • Throw down a challenge.


Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment:

  • Begin with praise & honest appreciation.

  • Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

  • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

  • Let the other man save his face.

  • Praise the slightest improvement & praise every improvement.

  • Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

  • Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

  • Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

  • Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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